In Loving memory of Josh Jordan Hagger

Josh was my youngest child. He was a normal 20 year old, who had his whole life ahead of him. But then the most devastating thing happened, which has changed our lives forever. We are using this fundraising page in honour of our beloved Josh, son, brother, uncle, and a friend to many. We want to raise funds to help detect and treat brain tumours earlier. Brain cancers are still one of the hardest cancers to successfully treat. If you were thinking of bringing flowers to his funeral, we would appreciate it if you would consider donating to this cause instead. In loving memory of Josh. This is his story..... Josh started having frequent headaches and some blurred vision, so just thought he needed to go to the opticians. He left it a couple of weeks, but then woke up with a new symptom. He was dragging one of his feet whilst walking and his balance seemed a little bit off. He went to the doctors and described his symptoms to her, and she just said to go see the optician. No examination of any description took place. It was a Friday afternoon, so he struggled through the w/e, putting his new symptoms down to an old knee injury and his balance down to probably needing glasses. So Monday afternoon, he had his opticians appointment. They sent him straight to the A & E department of the West Suffolk hospital in Bury St Edmunds. They carried out a CT scan and an MRI and found some abnormalities in his brain. They admitted him and treated him for inflammation with steroids and antibiotics. On the Wednesday afternoon, they decided to do a lumbar puncture and told us he needed to go over to Addenbrookes, in Cambridge, where they specialise in neurological disorders. So he endured more scans. We were told on more than one occasion that they weren't expecting a tumour or cancer of any kind. It's most likely just some swelling that's causing his problems. They kept pumping him full of antibiotics and done more tests. We were told the tests had shown no changes, and that maybe they will have to do a biopsy. Josh wanted the biopsy done straight away, but they kept holding off. It was his 3rd week of being there when they actually decided to do it. Josh couldn't even walk by this point. He couldn't even stand unaided and sitting was very tricky. Two days later and we were given the awful news that he had an Anaplastic Astrocytoma. A grade 3 brain tumour. We were told it was treatable. That he had age on his side. They would start him off with a strong course of steroids and once the swelling has gone down, he would be given Chemotherapy. Crushing news, but we were optimistic. Two days after receiving the bad news, they let us bring him home. He was given anti-epileptic drugs, incase the biopsy caused him to suffer from seizures, and steroids to help with the swelling, and a tablet to protect his stomach lining. Three medications. Ok. We can do this. It's going to be a long road, but we'll get there. So we started making plans to do lots of stuff next summer, when he was hopefully feeling better. Things were going ok at first. I mean, I was doing everything for him as his coordination was so off, he could no longer even manage to feed himself. Then the second day he developed a fever, so I called the doctor out and she promptly, given his circumstances, called the neurologists at Addenbrookes to see if they thought Josh should be admitted back to hospital. They said no and to just give him some paracetamol. He was feverish all the next day. I was continuously patting him down with cold cloths all that day and throughout the night. The next morning, he still had a fever and his entire leg was stiff. He couldn't bend it or control it. And his hands were now clenched and were moving involuntarily. So I called the doctors again, and she sent an ambulance to take us back to the West Suffolk hospital. So he was admitted again, and for some reason, to the cardiac ward G3. Didn't question it as I was just glad that he was going to be looked after. More scans were to come and another lumbar puncture. More antibiotics in case he had sepsis from the biopsy and a whole host of other medications were given to him. The next day, I was taken into a side room and told the gut wrenching news that there was nothing they could do for Josh. His tumour was just too aggressive. I was in a state of shock. To be told one minute that he'll be ok. That they could offer him treatment, and the next, that there's nothing they can do?! This can't be happening. Surely they're wrong?! They tell me the additional tests that were ran on the slides taken from his sample, showed something extremely insidious. It's behaving more like a stage 4 tumour than a stage 3. He only has the matter of weeks left to live. I'm not hearing this. It can't be real. We spent another 2 weeks in hospital, luckily in a side room, with him having small seizures and almost constant fevers. They just couldn't seem to get his medications right to keep him comfortable. They were grasping at straws, and he ended up having a really bad reaction to one drug they gave him. I dont think any of us expected him to survive through that. But he did. But he seemed much worse after that ordeal. He was unable to eat solid foods from that point, and his jaw was clenched quite tightly most of the time. Even talking had become difficult at this point. One nurse nearly overdosed him on his medications on 2 separate occasions that we realised. We were aware of this because I queried everything and started to write down his medications and what times they were given. He was having so many, I was being overly cautious. Good job I was. They do make mistakes. Josh was never left unattended after his first night in there. If I popped home for a shower, his brother or sister were always with him. Most of the time there were always 2 of us. I strongly advise anyone who has a loved one staying in hospital, to question absolutely everything. I wish I had been more cautious from the get go. When we were eventually sent home, this time with two carrier bags full of medications, it was such a deeply emotional time. Josh knew of his prognosis. Can you just imagine being told at 20 years old that you have weeks left to live? He was so brave. Often comforting us. Mumbling the odd one liners, when he could, that would have us in fits of laughter. His first week back home he spent fighting so hard with the fever, seizures and pain. To watch anyone go through something like that is so very heart breaking, let alone your child. We were always by his side, day and night, fighting right there along with him, and taking care of him as best as we could. It was New Years eve, and we noticed he was struggling to swallow his medications, even though they were all being given in liquid form at this point. He'd been managing small amounts of soft foods like cheesecake, yogurts and ice creams up until then. The Macmillan nurse that came to see us said that as he couldn't swallow anymore, they would need to set up a syringe driver to administer him some pain relief and sedatives. This was the hardest bit yet. Knowing that my beautiful baby boy was just going to lay there until he died. He fought hard for 9 long days with no foods and fluids. All we could do, was be there for him. We would speak to him and his eyes went from being him, to being blank. We continued to kiss and cuddle him as we had done the whole way through this ordeal. Continued to tell him how much we loved him and how beautiful he was to us, even as we watched him slip away, more and more each day. His body finally gave up the fight on the morning of January 9th, 2016. He passed away in my arms and with his older brother and sister holding each hand. He was 20. It took 9 weeks from the time he went into hospital til the time he passed. If we can make people more aware of possible signs of a brain tumour as well as help raise money to get a faster diagnosis and treatment, then this will have meant he hasn't just slipped away to be another statistic.